My Journey So Far

At lunchbreak today, I was going through my feed reader and checked out Paul Coelho’s UNESCO keynote address on the radicalization of youth at the crossroad. Well those who know me deeply would understand how I feel for these things. On the other hand, a new acquaintance IM'd me, after checking out my blog, saying that "it truly is fashionable to be espousing social causes like child rights, stop world hunger, ban land mines etc. these days" and hence, is that why I am on it… "trying to keep up with what’s in?" Indeed, the social landscape is changing across the globe but not in the context she meant. As for me, the cause for children is a very personal one. While I had always been actively involved in community work a few years back as a development planner, my work that has to do with programs on the protection of children’s rights truly began in the year 2005 with a project for UNICEF which encourages LGU-UNICEF collaboration on the development of Child-friendly cities in the Philippines. As I had always been involved as a writer for UN-related projects, I thought it was nothing new. For this one, I had the opportunity of working with local leaders and much later with locally-based global children’s organization like Save the Children and Global Fund for Children in Conflict mostly as writer and development planner. It was a way for me to deal with that certain grief of my own and I was then so sure, it was to be the path of change for me.

As I immersed myself in readings on the state of children – reading all I could get my hands on -- first in the Philippines, and then in Asia and then in the world, then I came to know in a personal way -- what I had known ever since -- that change is a long, lonely road. But getting involved in these things has stages. And I was then in a stage where I was too caught up in my own pain to be of any use to others. The problem was overwhelming, I was beginning to see how difficult and frustrating things were, and as Paul Coellho said "the feeling of powerlessness gripped me". Confound it with the fact that I could not make a change that way while I have my own issues and while resources were short even for me.

And so my involvement on this project came to a halt in 2007, along with many other community projects we had on the drawing board. Then one upset after another – a project I was to take on that farther away land was indefinitely shelved after all had seemed set, ready, go. The saddest part of that—and I cannot possibly recount here – is that failed trip failed in another way in terms of my "personal life". Because of that I had lost in the relationship arena by "default" and I had been told as a result of my no-show that I have put someone “on a spot more than he can say”. Restless, I had already been feeling like fish out of water where I was (well, I correct me there, I’m supposed to be a “river”) certain that something awaits me somewhere.

Then a year ago, I caught up with a close friend who was planning on a trip to Singapore. Next thing I found myself was deep in corporate work right here in cosmopolitan Singapore. What’s next for me, time alone can tell. Some really thought-provoking developments have turned up. I am trying to think straight and listen “to the universe” for some things I really have no control over. All I know is that, wherever life leads, I would like to come full circle to the meaningful work that I had once began and still wish to do. It's in my heart all the while.

Why am I sharing this? Because in a blog you are compelled to be honest in a beautiful way -- to process that honesty, stringing words together within context, sometimes with fresh eyes and new understanding, and in a well presented manner -- in case someone might pass by and share in the journey. Then, for myself – a communicator with an almost desperate longing to understand and be understood, you probably will never understand why one has to leave some of her private thoughts out in the open. I don’t have to tell you how often having to elaborate has gotten me into trouble. But for the personal sharing -- how useful and nice that I have something on here, a piece of my mind that I can come back to, a part of me that I sent like a prayer, out there in the random world somewhere.

A World Made New

Nowhere is living on the edge more true than in living after your dreams have died. Yet we all have dreams that have died. The question is how do we respond to unrealized dreams?

Dreams we dreamt for ourselves. Whatever they were, no small deal. We must face them when they are dashed. Understand why that happened. Yet we must also acknowledge that dreams do come from deepest longings known to man. The longing to be loved. To be intimately known. The longing to see a “better tomorrow”. The need to “leave a legacy” -- a part of ourselves to create that "better world".

Some so-called dreams are dreams we build around our imperfect selves in an imperfect world. Then they are broken. Yet you live on. And the irony of that place of brokenness is that it can transform our lives in ways we never could have thought possible. To quote from my  favorite Hemingway novel -- A Farewell to Arms -- the world breaks everyone, then afterwards, many are strong in all the broken places. That says it well for me. As to dreams, let me keep on having them. If I lose all, so be it as there is nothing I could do with that. But I will not lose my dreams of a world made new. Then with its coming, I suspect -- that all I have lost will be restored to me.

Our World

"If there is no love in the world,
we will make a new world,
and we will give it walls,
and we will furnish it with soft, red interiors,
from the inside out,
and give it a knocker that resonates
like a diamond falling to a jeweller's felt
so that we should never hear it.
Love me, because love doesn't exist,
and I have tried everything that does."
-- Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything is Illuminated: A Novel)

Bad Domain Names

Stumbled upon companies that didn't spend quite enough time considering how their online names might appear - and be misread...have fun:

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is
   www.whorepresents.com/
   
   
2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange Advice and views at
   www.expertsexchange.com/
   
   
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
   www.penisland.net/
   
   
4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
   www.therapistfinder.com/
   
   
5. There's the Italian Power Generator company,
   www.powergenitalia.com/
   
   
6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales,
   www.molestationnursery.com/
   
   
7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there?s always
   www.ipanywhere.com/
   
   
8. The First Cumming Methodist Church Web site is
   www.cummingfirst.com/
   
   
9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site,
   www.speedofart.com/

Thinking Hemingway

"When the cold rains kept on and killed the spring,
it's as if a young person
had died for no reason...."

Ernest Hemingway, A Moveable Feast

Reporting from the Ground

I tried online journalism by writing for Ground Report.Com. an NYC-based citizen journalism site with worldwide reach, allows journalists from anywhere in the world share to their stories and then share in the revenue generated from the traffic. The next piece of their business plan is to geographically target advertising and revenue sharing.

I have been reporting for the site for the past few days and have written no more than two articles. In today's issue, my reports were featured on front page as among the most popular for all regions. I have no idea how that happened but it is something that moves very fast and as you read this, I may have been dislodged from the hotpicks. I did not link it to my Facebook or Stumble Upon, not yet. :) I was just trying to get some thoughts out there and it was thrilling in a way to connect with people where things move more quickly.

My article Philippines languishes behind in closing digital divide was in the hot category for media and tech. Go check them out, and you can do your own reporting of the news as they unfold where you are in the world.

Thoughts at High Tea

I have been holding up on my take, instead I'm sort of trying to enrich perspective by listening to what's going on in the world, through the internet. Lately, bloggers have been breaking news faster than the pooled might of the BBC. And blogs and discussions of conferences are so convivial and enlightening. Other than discovering many thought-provoking articles and amazing blogs, I have also been entertaining myself a great deal on twitter and other social networks. That's one way I try to keep abreast with people of various persuasions. And who knows what ludicrous things one can find along with the heavy stuff.

Lately, this has been all the rage: facebook, pownce, tumblogs, twitter -- hah, here's where I met pranksters who gets you to click a link that purports to be something good, but you will actually be hitched to the second coming kooky video of an 80's pop celeb. So, have you ever been rickrolled ?

It was admittedly gut-busting, and at first I thought, a tortuous comeback for Rick Astley. Oh, but where is my sense of humour ! The song Never Gonna Give You Up has blared in many a geeky rebel assemblage here in Singapore, I kid you not. Nope, Rick Astley isn't dead. As a matter of fact, he spoke to LA Times recently of his thoughts two decades after on his re-mixed, re-used and re-mocked 80's creation. Well, whatever you say, at least consider this rickroll chart courtesy of NewTeeVee. You guys are so naughty !

Have fun ! Meantime, let me finish my cup of tea.