Tuesday, June 12, 2007

From East of the Sun

It’s finally on the horizon. The next few weeks will find me in places and situations that are so new to me. When all has more or less really settled I will be happy to let my friends in on some details.

As I take the first few steps into this journey, I am closing an old chapter in my little corner of the blogospehere to give way to a new one. It has been barely a year of blogging and I had no idea how much I was going to enjoy this. The circumstances which led me to meander this way I probably will never ever be able to discuss. It is more than meets the eye. Not really about networking or online dating or merely being part of a blogging community (but then all these happened nonetheless). My foray into this global medium was, unbeknownst to many, life-altering for me.(not exagerrating).

I basically blog for me, to express what babbles up inside on several issues, sometimes to share my personal advocacies, then to give a sort of “dear world” glimpse of where I’m at in my life (well some had been too personal (cringe).

At this point, what’s up?

Sunday night – I had no need to dread Monday and the usual dragging-me-to-my-job routine. Cause you see, I no longer have one, smiles.

Monday morning - Uncluttering, stashing away things I probably will never be able to use for a long time. A million odds and ends of a life lived forever in these shores. That is terribly hard to put away and I can’t even begin to really face it.

Right this minute -- Letting go with a tug in my heart. One thing I realize as I was going through this is how much crap I actually have accumulated over the years and what it says about the way I tend to dwell and cling. Now I must detach myself a bit, and as I have once read in Gypsy's blog -- cherish memories but not cling to them.

The list goes on…as the day progresses.

`tidying up my email account, down to only 200 unread emails, a feat!

`list items for purchase

`calling to have my laptop system-checked

`gifting myself with an electronic file of all our old, funny-looking pics prior to the advent of the digital age.

`getting my budget and bills in order (well not quite as yet)

A few things that I can carry along.

Can't do without my best buddy.

Fast-forward to next month…

And so, in between work, the days ahead will probably find me musing beside the Merlion, or on my notebook in some cybercafé. I have e-mailed professional contacts and Filipino friends I might have a chance to meet up with over in the city.

These days truly challenge the best of me. I have grown weary of people telling me how lucky I am to be moving on up. Because all I cound think of is that I am leaving the only home I’d known for my entire life.

I have known extreme bliss in my lifetime. But I also have had to endure prolonged episodes of despair. Yes, I have been around enough to know that life is about seasons. Who knows, but maybe I have come to yet a new springtime.
In the midst of all these, it occurred to me…there is that home we leave behind, and that other one which we are constantly creating. But there is only one home which shall always sit on top of our hearts.

My friends say I am a brave one. I do hope I merit that observation. But no, I cannot stand to wave at my nearest and dearest til they disappear in the rearview mirror. And no, I may not be able to even catch a glimpse of the sunset by the bay as I pass by. I will be crying way too much to see straight.

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